The Dinner Party: Pablo the Performer
Follow the inner monologue of a Performer as they attend a dinner party. Part 1 of 4.
The Invitation
Yes! I’m invited to a dinner party! This will be fun. It feels good to be included in this group. And they used Evite, which is good news. I can get a feel for who will be there based on RSVPs. This way, I know I can fit in and make a good impression.
The Preparation
This will be an opportunity for me to shine, and I need to find the perfect clothes. I’ll want to match the event and stand out just a little. I want people to notice my style and fashion without overdoing it. I walk this tightrope a lot.
I find myself checking the guest list obsessively. Some people I admire will be there, and I must make a good impression. I follow Josh online and know he is into baseball. I should probably study up so I can talk about it with him. Anika will be there, and she has such impeccable taste. I wonder what she’ll be wearing?
This phase of party planning is so fun. I get to design who I’ll be for the night, and the ideas are coming fast and furious.
The Arrival
I always get butterflies before walking into a party. You never know what you’ll see on the other side of the door.
I walk in with a big smile and start hugging everyone I see. I tell them how great they look and try to notice changes. Have you lost weight? Is your hair shorter? At the same time, I’m keen to hear what people say about me. Who feels warm and connected? Who expresses interest and seems attentive? I make mental notes for later.
The entrance is exciting and fun, but it ends quickly. The stage is now set.
Pre-Dinner
As people mingle, I notice the social circles and who seems to be attracting attention. It feels like the room is alive in some areas and dead in others. I want to be in the middle of the action, especially when it involves people I respect and enjoy. I have no problem inserting myself in conversations.
I know I can be a little overwhelming for some people. That’s just how I am. Erik and I are friends, but he doesn’t get me. I’m a little too wild and unpredictable.
My social battery is turned up to eleven in these situations, and I feed on the attention. What I want most is for people to notice and like me. Sometimes, I adjust what I say and how I present myself to earn that attention. It’s easy for me to play a role or perform to get what I want. I was built for it.
The Dinner
Dinner means it’s time to get serious, and I need to keep my exuberance in check. Before we sit down, I scan the table to find the best and worst seats. I prefer to be in the middle so I can talk to more people. I also try to grab the spot next to people I know will fun.
Usually, I’m attracted to people like me, who care about fashion, culture, and trends. They are often attractive, well-dressed, and make a good impression. And I can tell when it’s real, and I find it intoxicating. Samantha isn’t like me, but we have a connection.
Some people try to put on a show, but it doesn’t work. Kartrina is like that. I like her; we have a lot in common, but she tries too hard, and it comes off as performative, like a poser. She’s constantly trying to be someone she’s not. Deep down, I worry I’m a bit like her and don’t have an authentic feel for who I truly am.
Over dinner, I engage easily and tell entertaining stories. I make people laugh, and the conversation flows. Some around the table, like Lena, roll their eyes, but I don’t care. I feel alive and in my element.
Winding Down
I’m the last to leave and help the hosts clean up. As I wash dishes, we discuss the party, and I share my perspectives on each person, which often focus on their appearance, “What a striking blouse,” or their demeanor, “He seemed a little deflated.” I’m kind, but I have opinions.
On the way home, I feel a sense of confidence and even excitement. Social situations energize me, and this one felt good. I made the impressions I wanted to make. I probably said some questionable things and spoke too loudly on occasion, but that’s showbiz, baby!
Home
Home feels good. I have a glass of wine before bed and feel a sense of relief. The party was fun and exciting, but also a lot of work. Keeping up appearances takes real effort, and while I thrive on it, it feels good to be home, where no one judges me or analyzes my outfit. I can truly be myself.
To keep the action going, I jump into a group chat with friends to tell them all about the party.
Next week: We’ll experience the party through the eyes of Lena, the Feeler.
Stay Tuned!