Why Am I Like This?
How science has helped solve the mystery of why we are the way we are.
It wasn’t long ago that some elderly people were labeled “senile” and soldiers came home “shell-shocked”. At the time, these diagnoses were based on limited understanding, which led to stigmas and misinformation that were difficult for individuals and families. Their mysterious nature also led to ineffective treatments and, often, rejection and isolation.
Over time, researchers developed specific diagnoses for these issues: dementia and PTSD, respectively. Finally, patients and families had concrete answers and a solution to the mystery. A diagnosis meant they could move from confusion and frustration to management and treatment.
The Mystery of Neurodiversity
This idea also applies to neurodiversity, which refers to natural differences in how people’s brains function. It often begins in school, when some students are perceived as being weird, reactive, slow, or sensitive. They don’t fit in or communicate clearly. They read slowly or rarely finish their homework. These differences can lead to failing grades and bullying.
Those who struggle may wonder, “Why am I like this?” Others notice the difference and think, “Why don’t they act like the rest of us?” In the past, the mystery created a void that was filled with destructive assumptions and ineffective treatments.
Like dementia and PTSD, researchers have made significant progress in understanding many of these mysteries. We’ve learned that our brains are wired differently, and sometimes these differences are neurological and cannot be easily changed. In many cases, they represent alternative ways of thinking and new perspectives.
This new understanding of neurodiversity doesn’t provide a cure, but it does provide a valuable explanation. When someone is diagnosed with autism, for example, it often solves a mystery and creates a path forward for individuals and families, often with a feeling of acceptance.
Another example is dyslexia, where some people struggle to read, write, and spell. Before it was understood and diagnosed, otherwise intelligent kids felt broken and were labeled as slow learners or disabled. Since then, more of the mystery has been solved, which helps them understand and manage a difference that is a part of who they are.
A common form of neurodiversity is ADHD. People sometimes live their entire lives knowing they are different but not knowing why or what to do about it. Then, sometimes as an adult, they get a diagnosis that changes everything.
Elyse Myers described being diagnosed with autism at 31:
Getting diagnosed as autistic at 31 is so weird because I’m like “great this changes absolutely nothing” and also “wow this helps me understand everything I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.”
Elyse’s diagnosis helped her feel at home with herself. She lived for 31 years with a mystery in the back of her mind. Then, BOOM, understanding and acceptance.
The Vibes Connection
I will leave the clinical and therapeutic work to the experts. My goal is not to diagnose or treat a problem, but to explore a mystery that applies to everyone: why are we the way we are? I believe neurodiversity can help us answer that question.
By researching and outlining specific vibes, I am identifying a vocabulary for exploring and discussing the everyday differences between us. In this realm, neurodiversity is a way to think about the role our brain plays in the way we are.
I believe vibes could lead to an experience like Elyse’s above, where a mystery is solved and you can see yourself in a new, more informed light. In the best scenario, we can all feel more at home with ourselves.
I am not different…..everyone else is!