Cilantro, Authenticity, and Your Brain

What if our differences are more authentic than they appear?

I believe people do what comes naturally in most situations. Despite appearances, they aren’t playing a part, seeking attention, making a statement, or rebelling. Rather, they are presenting an authentic version of themselves, warts and all. This relates to the idea of vibes: our natural way of being.

In some cases, a person’s vibe diverges from what is expected. People behave strangely, believe the “wrong” things, feel the “wrong” ways, or listen to the “wrong” music. When this happens, it can attract negative attention because veering from cultural norms feels like a violation to some. This can leave the person confused. They may wonder: Why is this happening? I’m just being myself!

Authenticity and Aphantasia

Last week, I wrote about Sachi having aphantasia, which means she can’t see mental images. This deeply authentic part of Sachi impacts her everyday life. Reading fiction can be boring. She’s not as emotionally attached to past events because she can’t replay them. She has trouble remembering faces after meeting people.

These differences, out of context, could be a reason to judge her. One could assume she has a poor taste in literature or is antisocial. This thinking assumes that Sachi has a choice and has chosen incorrectly.

The reality is that Sachi is doing what comes naturally. Her brain simply interprets the world around her differently from most people.

Neurodiversity

It’s accurate to say that Sachi is neurodivergent. Her brain operates differently from most, and this difference impacts her experiences. Neurodivergence is more common than it appears, and we’re only starting to understand it. Conditions like dyslexia, color blindness, autism, and OCD are examples. Many forms of neurodivergence, such as aphantasia, are relatively benign and often unknown to the individual. They just feel or seem “different”.

My point is this: the observable differences between us, our vibes, are often linked to innate parts of us that don’t change easily. When I say that most people are doing what comes naturally, I mean that their brain is interpreting the world in a way that is authentic to them, but may not match your expectations. This perspective is key to understanding the people around you.

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A Thought Experiment with Cilantro

Let’s say that you are the world’s biggest cilantro lover. You grow it and add it to everything. One day, someone says to you, “Yuck! I hate cilantro! How can you eat that stuff?”

You’re taken aback. How could someone feel so strongly about an innocent and delicious herb? You might assume they are ignorant or have consciously decided to be different. Maybe they haven’t had the right cilantro. You might question their character or worthiness.

Then you learn about neurodiversity and discover that some people have a genetic trait that alters their perception of cilantro flavor. For up to 20% of people with this trait, cilantro tastes like soap and is practically inedible. Their brain interprets cilantro flavor differently.

This changes your perception of them. You can see that their reaction is deeply authentic and not a choice, a personal statement, or something that needs correction. The distaste for cilantro is a deep part of their perception. It’s in their genes and not something they can control.

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Egocentrism

This example illustrates what I hope to achieve with the Vibes Project. We are different, in part, because our brains are different. We perceive and react to our brain’s interpretation of the world.

When someone behaves differently, it’s easy to assume they’re wrong because our experience seems like the only experience possible. This is called egocentrism, and it’s a source of prejudice that isn’t always obvious. We are all egocentric to some degree.

The next time someone does or says something strange or unexpected, consider the possibility that the interpreter in their head is telling a story you can’t access. If the story was clear to you, you might set your judgments aside and see them differently.

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